Sunday, 16 August 2009

Birthday Party - Couple Therpay

Williamsburg, Brooklyn, New York

The party was at six. Sharp.

It was around noon when we finally got going. We had to pick up the air conditioner at Vincent's - Marie's friend - apartment near Chinatown, take the air conditioner back to our apartment back across the Williamsburg bridge, drive the car that we had (Molly and Marc's) to the Upper East side to drop with some friend of Molly's, then find Yoko - who's birthday it was - a present.



It can be done.

No problem.


On the way to get the air conditioner from Vincent Marie decides that she wants to get Yoko some oysters for lunch and drop them off at her work near Union Sq. She asks me what I think. I say that we have enough to do already. She says to drive faster.

We pick up the air conditioner then stop at a place near Chinatown to get the oysters. I wait in the car in a commercial zone while Marie runs in.


Then - of course - we need an oyster shucker to go with the oysters. Drop Marie on the sidewalk around the corner from Crate n' Barrel on Houston st. Then drive around the necessary one way blocks to be able to pull up across the street and wait for Marie, illegally parked in front of a hot dog vendor as the rain begins to come down. Crate n' Barrel didn't have the shucker. But thank the Lord above the sales clerk inside told Marie of an even more exclusive kitchen wares place in SOHO that most certainly would have a shucker.

Traffic stifling.

Horns blaring.

Rain pouring.

Marie says drive faster.


Drop oysters off at Fleurs Bella store on 11th where Yoko works - me too sometimes.




Rain coming down in sheets.

Make it to 97th and drop the car.


Want beer.

Find only 'real' looking bar in Upper East Side. Walk in. Mahogany. Brass. Guinness on tap. Good. No food. Okay. Tell bartender Guinness is close enough to food. We sit down and begin to read the Times that Marie somehow always has on her, each day, every day, everywhere. How decadent.

We have time.

It's only three.

A few minutes later the older Italian looking guy sitting next to us at the bar comes back in with an authentic Italian sub from a deli around the corner and presents it to me and Marie. Amazing. One of the best moments since I've been to New York. Genuine. Kind. Authentic. Strike up conversation with said older gentlemen. Turns out he's an actor. Thought he looked vaguely familiar. Had a feeling. Asked him if he was in The Sopranos. No. He was Louie in Ghostdog. God. Awesome. He was Ghostdog's retainer. Louie. He was in Ghostdog, the Jim Jarmusch film with the sifu in Chinatown that I want to train with. Since I've been in New York I've met Jim Jarmusch. Now Louie. The signs are all there: I need to study Shaolin Kung Fu with sifu in Chinatown.

We leave bar elated around 4.

We stop in oldtime drugstore / perfumery to look for gift.

Marie finds soaps and things.

I think we can do better.

We leave.

Walking, Marie decides that we need to get Yoko a bird. GREAT! Marie tells me tragic story of Yoko's Uncle killing her bird when she was a child. Yoko needs a bird.

Walk to subway on 69th and Lexington. Pee at Hunter College. Hop 6 train to Union Sq. Marie fondles my crotch under my shorts unbeknownst to other riders as I stand and she sits. Great.

At Union Square find Petco.


Marie looks at all the birds, asks me what I think and what the Petco bird helper employee thinks. Looks at all the birds again. Petco bird helper tells Marie bird should not come out of cage for at least three months until comfortable in new home. Marie disconcerted. I tell her we should get one, and if Yoko doesn't want it, we'll keep it.

She looks some more.


She looks some more.

She likes the Parakeets the best. Me too. I pick out one I like the best. Petco guy gets paperwork and net. We have to be at restaurant near Greewhich Village no later than 6:15. It's 5:30. Marie asks me what I think. I tell her we should get the bird. Am getting ansty. Girl from office has already sent two messages saying to PLEASE be on time in order to hold table (place takes no reservation - party must be present to keep table - no later than 6:15 to surprise Yoko). Told Marie earlier of time constraints. Marie hates constraints. Don't want to upset Marie, nor be task minder. Hate being in the middle. Marie asks me what I think of bird. I tell her to get the bird. She stares at birds trying to read their thoughts. Am getting frustrated. Tell her so and go outside. Five minutes later she blows by me in a huff on the sidewalk saying that we're not getting a bird, that she's getting a book, that we're not going to the party and that we'll meet up with Yoko later. She goes into bookstore. I wait outside. Confused. It's 5 to 6. Calls start coming from restaurant. Where are we? I say we're not coming. Don't know what is happening. Go inside bookstore to look for Marie. She's nowhere to be found. I go back outside. Get a call from girl five minutes later from restaurant saying Marie is on her way with Yoko. I'm furious. She left me. Fuck her. Fuck the party. Fuck this.

I go to bar where friend works near Union Sq. Sit down and get a beer. Am pissed. Friend's not there. Yoko texts. Where are you? Don't respond. Marie calls twice. Don't respond. Get another beer. Friend from work texts. Tells me to come. I tell him: Fuck Marie. I walk to corner store to get cigarettes. I just want a cigarette. Fuck that woman. She tells me: You can never leave me. That is the worst thing you can do to someone, is leave them. You can never do that to me. You can never do that to me no matter what. And what does she do? She leaves me standing on the corner with my fucking dick in the wind. Fuck her.

I go to Mars bar. Shit hole. Vomit on toilet in bathroom nearly makes me puke. Sit in corner looking out at the cars passing by. Wonder why put up with this shit. Think maybe I should go back to Texas. Texas feels lonely. Can't make it in New York right now without Marie's help. Can't stand the thought of her right now.

Go to bar where friend from Texas used to work. Girl behind bars knows him and gives me the second beer free. Guy at the end of the bar is from Austin and knows my dog that I left with my friend. He's seen the puppies that my dog and friends dog had together. Miss my dog.

Walk across Williamsburg bridge talking to friend on the phone from Texas. Don't think I can go back there. Want to jump off bridge.

Marie comes home. Doesn't say a word. Goes to bed.

In the morning she doesn't know what the problem is.

Makes me angrier.

We have to talk about it in therapy.

Therapist says that we have to "over" communicate with each other as we have an "assumption" problem and "communication" problem in the relationship. Marie figured I would show at the restaurant. Still doesn't see big deal. I figured Marie knew the time constraints, don't see big deal with getting frustrated and walking out of store. Each of assumes the other will respond how we would. Marie says she's committed to relationship. I say I'm not so sure. Therapist says I don't have all the facts to make a decision yet and have to give the relationship a set amount of time with no talk of leaving until then. Then evaluate. Okay - January. Therapist says I can't have one foot out the door and expect relationship to work. I think if she met my ex-wives she'd understand. Therapist tells Marie I am gift sent to work on communication, or something like that - good.


Both feet in.


1 comment:

  1. Ugh! I support you and your decisions but this is why I don't like therapists. She gave the OPPOSITE advice I'd have given. Both of you need to be LESS sensitive, not MORE sensitive and more communicative/talkative. It's a choose your battles thing. Otherwise talking could go forever. Just be more flexible and on the other person's side. And the leaving you standing and waiting? Manipulative.


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