Wednesday, 18 February 2009

We Came To A Third World Country To Watch Television And Get Health Care


We came to a third world country to watch television and get health care. That´s what´s happening. Neither Time Warner Cable nor Direct TV, nor access to some of the best health care professionals on the planet were enough to keep us in the States. No, we decided that Ecuador would be the place to hole up and watch endless hours of shitty American television in a hotel room that has a certain penitentiary feel and aesthetic sensibility to it, while tracking down dentists, x-ray, sonogram clinics and doctors through a series of hand gestures, grunts and chicken scratch Spanish, which at certain points throughout our search for third world class health care has probably given more than one confused Ecuadorian the impression that the teeth in Marie´s pussy hurt... It´s been like that. Needless to say that once again a certain indefinable stress has been put on our fledgling relationship that one doesn´t quite invision in ones head before leaving the country for a supposed two months of South American sun, surf and pina coladas. No, instead of all that picturesque relaxation we´re in a shitty stinky town hiding away in a cell at night to escape the roving gangs of bandits and thieves who want to steal our computers (they´re a hot commodity down here) watching mind numbing television. And God forbid that I might want a Valium in the midst of all this, which I thought sounded like a half decent idea last night after eight hours of subtitled television when I went to get us some street corner chicken and a beer, as the pharmacies are self serve and open 24-7 (It´s a genius system), to which Marie declared that she didn´t want to be with a pill head. I told her that if four Valium in the two days that she wouldn´t talk to me after one of my blogs and thought that I was going to be broke and stranded in Ecuador, one of the pain killers she´d been given for her tooth that I took yesterday at the start of our four and half hour bus trip after she cussed me out for saying that she might be pregnant when she said her tits hurt and the guy standing in the isle next to my seat decided to rest his ass on my shoulder, and a couple of different hard-on pills that I´ve been testing out for the pure science of it since we got here two and a half weeks ago made me a pill head, well then, I was fucked. And if that were the case then I couldn´t abide being with a woman won´t drink water without wine in it. And I told her that alcohol was in fact a drug. And she shut it. I still haven´t gotten that Valium, but there´s a pharmacy around the corner - one on every corner in fact - and there´s a shit load of television to watch as she ditched me for the day not long ago after I had the nerve to suggest that she might not want to carry around the biggest purse on the planet in one of the poorer countries on the planet, and that she might want to find out for sure if she had recently gotten a sonogram done by her gynecologist before we left before she shelled out for another one here, or that she might want to see a doctor first and see if he thinks that she even needs one before she makes an appointment for one. So I´ve been banished for the day for my insolence. At least the TV works, and the pharmacy´s open...


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