Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Don´t Go


I walked the dark beach back to our little room to find her sitting up in bed drinking a beer and reading her book. Not much was said as I undressed and took a shower. When I dried and came out of the shower I told her that I was going to sleep in the bed in the corner of the room where the criss crossed wooden slats let a slight breeze in (for some reason we have four beds in our two person room - a bunk bed, a twin, and a double which we sleep on). I told her that I was still feeling pretty sick and that I didn´t want to soak the sheets and toss and turn all night long like I had the night before and keep her up again. What I said was true, but only half true. The other half of the truth was that I was still upset and didn´t want to sleep with her. She told me that she felt sick too, sick about us. I hugged her and she kissed my head. She was sweet. And I was still being an ass. And I went to bed. I wanted her to admit that I might have a point about the night before. She hadn´t. And I didn´t want to have to beg her for it. I tossed and turned all night and had nightmares of being stranded in different parts of the world. I woke to the sun and the sound of her voice calling my name to find that I'd sweated through the sheets again. She called me over to bed where we lay together until I fell asleep again and she went downstairs to boil water for coffee on the small gas stove in the back of the small store and private area of the place we are staying. She went to the tiny corner store around down the street and got us a pineapple.
She can be sweet.
As we sat on the porch looking out over the waves she asked me when I was leaving. She called my bluff. I didn´t want to go anywhere. I just wanted a simple acknowledgment that I might have a point about our argument in relation each of us talking about the opposite sex, and that it might not all be in my head. She wasn´t going concede. She told me that I could take her debit card to Puero Lopez a half an hour away and get some money out of her account and that I could pay her back. As I got my pack ready to go to leave she asked me what it was all about - what we were fighting about? I tried to explain it to her again. There was no point. She didn´t get it. And I got up to go. She said to wait, not to go, that we could work it out, that I might have a point.


1 comment:

  1. Got to tell you. After reading your most recent posts I had a dream last night in which I went to wherever you both are and just chewed you both out. I mean, what the fuck are two people I love like you doing wasting their creative energy - which I think is so special - fighting!
    Spend it on something else, kids. And here's how, I think: stop making your every little thought public. If you think someone's cute, can it. No need to share. That's true for this blog too, in my humble opinion.
    That's what I have to say. Love, MS


You got something to say? Say it. Or forever hold your tongue.