Williamsburg, Brooklyn, New York
In my utter confusion over the past week since me Marie told me some Jamaican motherfucker kissed her I've searched high and low for an answer, as to (1): what it meant?; (2): what I should do about it? As at this point in my life, considering my track record with women (two divorces; two cheaters) I simply don't trust myself to know what the fuck to do - fuck me for being a decent guy wanting to give people the benefit of the doubt. So before I hopped a Greyhound bus again to the middle of nowhere, and said FUCK THIS, I decided to sit tight, hear the little woman out and invoke the guidance and wisdom of anyone who would listen. I asked friends, co-workers, long lost acquaintances, bosses, family members, bar tenders, anyone really who would listen, including one certified genius and member of MENSA, as well as random people on the street as I vented my frustration throughout the city. Some declined to respond (literally didn't pick up the phone or respond via text - like old friends who've already been through two divorces with me (I think they're tired of hearing it and I can't blame 'em really as I'm tired of saying it)), some were equitable in their responses, some charitable, while others were harsh and condemning. I guess it's all relative. So maybe the only problem that Marie and I have is just getting on relatively the same wave length about these things with each other. Or maybe we just need to find someone else who's already there on that wave length and save each other the grief?
Here are the responses in no particular order:
- Shame on her for playing dumb. He didn't kiss her. She let him. Every woman knows when a man wants to fuck her. She could have cut it off. And giving him her number just leaves the door open. It's disrespectful to you and the relationship. If the guy ever met you he'd have no respect for you. He doesn't have any respect for her either if she told him she had a boyfriend. He was just trying to fuck her. She may have done it because she's not sure about the relationship, or simply not sure about being monogamous. Either way, she's questioning.
- Hang with the little sis.
- I don't think it's a big deal. She seems to be into you.
- You should crack that motherfucker with that headthumper of a ring of yours!
- Dump the bitch. She cheated. And even if you don't call it cheating, it's close enough to let you know that eventually she'll cheat. Get rid of her and save yourself the grief. You've already done your time with untrustworthy women. It's harder to cheat than it is not cheat. She doesn't seem to be able to act with integrity in regards to you and the relationship. You can find a woman, easily, who will. Let her go.
- Well, if she's the one, it won't happen again. If she's not the one, at least you know now.
- I don't usually give advice on relationships. But my feeling is, if she kisses someone, let her go.
- It's not a big deal that she didn't tell you. Little things like that happen all the time in relationships. And if they really don't mean anything, there's no reason to bother your partner with them. It's one of those things. Sounds like he caught her off guard with a kiss. But, since you did find out, you've got to be able to express how you feel about it without being attacked. That's fair.
- Good luck bud.