I Am Afraid

Williamsburg, Brooklyn, New York

I am afraid.
All of my actions are based on fear.
I look in the mirror.
I am never pleased.
I am vain.
I am shallow.
I am weak.
I am afraid.
I am sick inside.
I am diseased.
I exercise to look good so that people will find me attractive.
My life bores me.
I think that if I look good my life will be better.
It never is.
I put something into my hair so that it doesnt disappear.
My self respect recedes.
I take pills so that my cock is hard.
I am not a man.
I use a cream for my eyes to keep the lines away.
The lines crack through my being.
I use cream to keep my face from falling apart.
My life is disintegrating.
I dont want to look strange.
I dont want to be strange.
But I am strange.
I am stranger than I understand.
But I understand that it comes from fear.
I understand that the fear is killing me.
Yet I feed It.
It feasts on my insecurities.
I am full of insecurities.
I live in New York City.
I am nobody.

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