No Sexo Por Dos Semanas

Ecuador

In Puertoviejo Marie went to see a doctor (gynecologist) about a pain that she's had in her 'nether regions' since about the time we met five months or so ago, and the doctor told her something to the effect that I had fucked her duck. And apparently since I'd fucked her duck we were both immediately put on a strict regimen of antibiotics and were told that we could not have sex for two weeks - I guess as punishment for me being a bestialist. Now, I've been accused of many things in my life - most of which are untrue - but never have I been accused of fucking animals. This tops the list of accusations - duck fucker. I'm afraid to turn on the television for fear of seeing my face and the headline: "Gringo duck fucker". Marie said that I misinterpreted what the doctor'd said... but I saw the way she'd looked at me. I told Marie that the woman was probably a witch doctor. But Marie was adamant that we follow the doctors orders and refrain from sex for two weeks and take our pills, that in fact the doctor was talking about a "duct" problem. But I informed Marie that I doubted that she had any "ducts" and that I didn't like my good name being slandered in South America. And this no sex thing couldn't have come at a worse time. It's like the Gods are conspiring against us. I mean, we are fresh into a relationship traveling through a foreign country trying to get to know each other and figure out each others personal quirks, ticks and personality defects (and I admit that I've got a lot, but fucking animals is not one of them), and consequently we have our arguments, fights and relationship meltdowns. And sex happens to be one of our best make up tools. So the no sex for two weeks was a bit of wrench in the working parts of our relationship.

Two days into it we were put to the test, and nearly crumpled under the pressure - we nearly aborted ship without our life preserver of sex to keep us afloat on the turbulent seas of our new relationship...

We'd been taking the bus for the two days previous through some of the most outrageous and treacherous terrain on the planet. We were climbing the Andes along dirt switchback roads through downpours, over makeshift roads - where the old roads only a few days before had slid down the side of the mountain. The ride was like being thrown around a bus by Andre The Giant in a fight to the death. Our bladders were about to explode - as the buses never stop for hours on end for more than a brief moment to load and unload people until the bus reaches the terminal. We were starving. And when we reached about fifteen thousand feet, suffering from altitude sickness, delirium, hunger and exploding bladders we stopped for a brief moment so that we could load a group of indigenous folks on the bus and the driver could buy something from a roadside stand. And I took the opportunity to jump off the bus and try to scrounge us up some food. All I could find was bread before the bus began to take off and I ran to jump back on as it bus pulled away. When I made it back to my seat Marie asked me if I was stupid, or really fucking stupid, or something, when all I could produce for sustenance were four small loafs of bread.
I refused to talk to her the rest of the bus trip - fuck her - and pounded her for an explanation when we finally reached wherever the hell the bus dropped us off (some mountain town) on our way to Banos, as to why she thought she could talk to me like that.
She didn't want to talk about it on our way to dinner, or at dinner. So I left the restaurant and went back to the hotel and got myself my own room. I didn't get very far, as the room that the guy at the desk gave me was right next door to Marie's. And when she got back from dinner she found me, and we argued, and we talked, and we threatened each other with breaking up, and we tried to find alternative ways to have sex and make up. And we went and cuddled in her bed next door and paid for two rooms - $21. And in the morning we talked, and told each other how disappointed and let down we were by the other and we decided to just keep on going.
Fuck it...
We're in this thing together.

And we finally made it to our destination of Banos through another jarring, cramped and nausea inducing bus ride through the Andes. And along the way we made up and laughed and saw smoke billowing thousands of meters into the sky out of an active volcano that we are currently resting at the bottom of.

We made it just in time for the start of Carnival yesterday. The resort town is jumping with activity and is gorgeous and reminds me of being in the Rockies or Tetons or the Alps.
We got a place at a German/Ecuadorian owned place that is amazing. We found a book today at an American owned restaurant called something like "Traveling Together; How to Make it Work" which we rented for the week for a twenty dollar deposit and a $1 rental fee. We are going to be fine. We are amazing. And we'll be lucky if we make it out of here sane.

Love